He beauty and the beasts
by darnaud
Summary: The fashion club gets into troubles by the new boy of the town with a strange style.


The Beauty and the Beasts   
By Iván: [darnaud@jazzartistas.com][1]

Disclaimer :)   
I should thank MTV and Pink Floyd because they haven't sued me for using their stuff without their direct permission, and want to ask MTV to continue with the show in the way they are, and to tell the Spanish channels to show the new episodes. ;)   
I also want to thank the people who have helped me with this: Kimya, Jen, and Mson, and a speciall thanks ( in not that the other ones weren't speciall ;) ) and greets to Larissa Simpson by her edition and great correction. She made what i was thinking in Spanish :). If there is a language mistake, it's not my fault, it's their's. ;) (Thanks again to them all.)   
Thanks to all of you who try to read this. If you want, you can contact me at: [darnaud@jazzartistas.com][1]. But please, save your time and mine and don't insult ;), I'll delete that message _ipso facto_.   
And finally, before reading this GREAT story ;) You can put this on your page as long as it's the complete text without changes, blah blah blah...

**_1st: Daria and Jane walking in the school corridors._**   
**Daria**: I can't believe that you even thought about that.   
**Jane**: Hey, it would be a great surprise, and Escher said that surprises are the essence of living.   
**Daria**: Well, then I'll save some of the surprises I get here. When I leave the high school, nothing will surprise me. I think that nothing can already.   
_(The Fashion Club walks near them.)_   
**Tiffany**: Wow…how can somebody wear a leather jacket with a patch? That is soooo…sickening…   
**Sandi**: Yes, doesn't that guy realize how unfashionable he is?   
**Stacy**: What was he trying to say to us?   
_(The Fashion Club walks out. Jane looks at Daria.)_   
**Daria**: Okay, I only think I can't.   
_(Ken appears in the scene. He is a handsome guy dressed in jeans, a black T-shirt with a prism obtaining the rainbow colors from a light beam, and over everything, a leather jacket with a patch with a picture. The picture is the face of a screaming guy. His hair is red and his eyes are brown.)_   
**Ken**: Excuse me, can you tell me where Ms Li's office is? I asked to some weird girls, but I'm still trying to understand what they said.   
_(Daria looks at Jane and Jane looks at Daria.)_   
**Daria**: Ms Li? What have you done?   
**Ken**: Nothing, for the moment. I'm just a new boy.   
**Jane**: Bad luck that your first meeting was a third phase encounter. The Fashion Club is not from this world. We're still searching for theirs. We want to send them back there.   
**Ken**: _(smiles) _Well, my name is Ken. I've just moved here.   
**Jane**: I'm Jane.   
**Daria**: Daria.   
**Ken**: It's cool finding some normal people on the first day in a place. Usually, it takes months. The last time we moved, the people around me were like the survivors of some sort of nuclear experiment.   
_(Kevin and Brittany walk by them.)_   
**Daria**: Then you'll be right at home.   
**Ken**: Sorry, but I'm a bit late. Ms Li's office?   
**Jane**: There, the second door on the left.   
**Daria**: It's the one with the barbed wire.   
**Ken**: Okay...we'll meet again…if I don't get sucked into those weird girls' dimension first.   
_(All them laugh. Ken walks on.)_   
**Jane**: Wow! The intelligence average in this place has risen slightly. At this rate, soon it'll deserve the right to be called "educational center".   
**Daria**: Now _that_ would be a total surprise.

**_2nd. In Mr. O'Neill's classroom_**   
**Mr O´Neill**: Class, we have a new student: Ken. Let's welcome him.   
_(Embarrassed silence)_   
**Ken**: What can I say? Is there anybody out there?   
_(He sits in a chair, not realizing that Sandi, some seats back, is looking at him.)_   
**Mr O´Neill**: Well, we'll continue talking about Wuthering Heights... Sandi...would you tell us your favorite character and why?   
**Sandi**: Sorry?   
**Mr O´Neill**: Who's you favorite character in the book?   
**Sandi**: Ehhhhh.....uhmmmm...Catherine?   
**Mr O´Neill**: Can you tell us why?   
**Sandi**: She gets married to the only one that can buy her fashionable clothes and not to that other one who works and sweats every day. He was ugly and probably smelled like the cows.   
**Mr O´Neill**: Judging people by their job - that's not fair....anyway...of course, that's your opinion...uhhh...Ken! Have you read the book?   
**Ken**: Sure.   
**Mr O´Neill**: Who's your favorite character?   
**Ken**: The cows.

**_3rd. After class_**   
_(Daria meets Ken in the hall.)_   
**Ken**: Hey! It's you!   
**Daria**: That's what I expect. How was your meeting with Ms. Li?   
**Ken**: I found the door to the other dimension. _(He comes nearer, looks in one direction, and then to the opposite and whispers at Daria) _It's right in Ms Li's office.   
_(Tiffany arrives at their side and opens her locker and, looking at Ken, moves the things inside it.)_   
**Daria**: You should see the door to the holidays' island.   
**Ken: **I should spend my holidays _on_ an island.   
**Daria**: I think that you'll have to wait a few months still.   
_(Jane arrives and catches Tiffany looking at Ken.)_   
**Jane**: Have you lost something?   
_(Ken and Daria hear her, and turn to look.)_   
**Tiffany**: No, just wondering.   
**Ken**: Sure?   
_(Tiffany turns red, closes her locker and walks out.)_   
**Daria**: How did you do that?   
**Ken**: What? Answering?   
**Daria**: No, reading my thoughts.

**_4th. At the pizza place_**   
_(Daria and Jane are eating a slice each, while Ken is eating a whole big pizza.)_   
**Ken**: Hey, are all the teachers like that Mr O'Neill? I'm sure that he needs some help.   
**Jane**: You haven't had a history class yet?   
**Ken**: No, but I think that I have one tomorrow.   
_(The Fashion Club appears and sits far from them.)_   
**Sandi**: Hey look, there's that strange new boy.   
**Tiffany**: Yeahhh…and Quinn, he is with your cousin or whatever.   
**Quinn: She's a lost cause. I can't help her.**   
**Stacy**: Obviously, he hasn't heard anything about keeping a thin figure. If he eats all of that, he's going to explode.   
**Sandi**: Wearing clothes like that should be forbidden, but what can we expect from a cow-lover?   
**Quinn**: Yes, they're a weird group.   
_(Again at Daria's table.)_   
**Jane**: Achtung! The Fashion Gestapo are looking straight at us.   
**Daria**: You've been judged, and they've found you guilty of something, but I can't guess of what.   
**Ken**: What weird girls!   
_(While the Fashion Club talks, Stacy looks at Ken with bright eyes.)_

**_5th. In the school corridor._**   
_(Ken approaches his locker. Quinn is leaning on the wall nearby. He opens his locker, inside of which is a plain mask. There's nobody else in the corridor.)_   
**Quinn**: Hi, I'm Quinn.   
**Ken**: Ahh! Daria's cousin.   
**Quinn**: _(bothered ) _Did she tell you that?   
**Ken**: No, I figured it out. You're much like her.   
**Quinn**: No, I'm not! I'm more popular and far cuter than her.   
**Ken**: Okay…what do you want from me, Daria's cousin?   
**Quinn**: I'm not her cousin, I'm her sister!   
**Ken**: _(acts surprised) _That's impossible!   
**Quinn**: I know. Well, it's only that ... if you would wear different clothes, maybe...   
_(Quinn sees Daria and Jane in the corridor. She runs out.)_   
**Daria**: Was that Quinn?   
**Ken**: Yes, your sister is...enigmatic?   
**Jane**: Good description.   
**Ken**: And she runs like hell.

**_6th. In Daria's room_**   
_(Daria is lying on her bed, reading. Somebody knocks on the door, Daria looks up, and Quinn appears with a friendly smile.)_

_(Cut to commerical break. Stinger: The scene divides in 4 parts, one for each member of the Fashion Club when each is looking at Ken.)_

**_7th. Still in Daria's room_**   
**Daria**: Quinn? Do you need a map to reach to your room?   
**Quinn**: No, it's just that...uhmmm...I'd like to know about that friend of yours.   
**Daria**: Which one?   
**Quinn**: Ohhh! Don't tease me, Daria! The cute boy with the horrible style.   
**Daria**: Do you mean the one you were talking to before we appeared?   
**Quinn**: Ehhmmmm...Yes, that one. Do you think he would take me to Chez Pierre for a romantic dinner?   
**Daria**: I think he'd rather take you to a romantic field on a romantic mountain and throw you off it.   
**Quinn**: Don't laugh at me, Daria.   
**Daria**: Well, then he would just take you to the top of the school and throw you off it.   
**Quinn**: Ugggh! I can't talk to you!   
**Daria**: I don't like that lately everyone can read my thoughts.   
**Quinn**: Well, when I'm able to dress him like a human, don't come to me.   
**Daria**: I wouldn't. Even if you'd be able to think like one.   
_(Quinn goes out and slams the door with childish rage.)_

**_8th. In a school corridor_**   
_(Jane walks towards her locker. After a bit, she notices that Stacy is following her.)_   
**Jane**: Oh, no! I've been locked, red two, take her from me... _(turns to Stacy) _What do you want from me?   
**Stacy**: Ehhhh...Can we talk alone?   
**Jane**: We _are_ alone.   
**Stacy**: No, I mean, where nobody can see us.   
**Jane**: _(surprised) _Oh, no. The papers would read: "Fashion Psycho Kills Teen Artist." No, no...   
**Stacy**: No, it's about…_ (whispers) _…a boy.   
**Jane**: What?   
**Stacy**: Shut up, please. It's about that new boy.   
**Jane**: Ken?   
**Stacy**: Yes...the rest of the Club thinks he can't be popular...   
**Jane**: Sure they do.   
**Stacy**: But I think he is cute. Isn't he?   
**Jane**: And what do you want from me?   
**Stacy**: Is just that...well...I'm popular, and...he isn't...and...I used to only date boys who played sports and...do you understand me?   
**Jane**: Not a word.   
**Stacy**: How can I make him look at me? I mean, he's not popular, and you're not popular. What do you look for in a guy?   
**Jane**: Ohh! That's easy... I like guys with big moustaches and weird coloured clothes... and... with tumbledown cars... and... hmm... let me think...   
**Stacy**: Ohhh! Forget it! _(she leaves)_   
**Jane**: Hey...and a great nose piercing!

**_9th. In the school cafeteria_**   
_(Sandi approaches Jodie, who is eating at a table)_   
**Sandi**: Hello, Jodie. Can I sit here and ask you something?   
**Jodie**: _(surprised) _Of course. What's it about?   
**Sandi**: It's about…that new boy.   
**Jodie**: _(laughs) _He's handsome, isn't he?   
**Sandi**: Yeah! He's cute and all, but…he's totally out of fashion.   
**Jodie**: What do you mean? His style is different, but...   
**Sandi**: No, you don't understand me. I'm the president of the Fashion Club. What would I say to the other members if I dated an unpopular and badly dressed guy?   
**Jodie**: Does that matter?   
**Sandi**: Of course! I have an image to uphold.   
**Jodie**: But if you like him... Listen, Sandi, there are people with bigger troubles. Read "Romeo and Juliet".   
**Sandi**: What?   
**Jodie**: Or just see _West Side Story_.   
**Sandi**: Didn't that pair date hidden from their friends? Hmm... Thanks, Jodie, you've helped me.   
**Jodie**: _(resigning) _Did I?

**_10th. At the school corridor_**   
_(Daria and Jane near Jane's locker. Tiffany approaches them. Daria looks at her.)_   
**Daria**: Let me guess. You want to ask us something about Ken. _(Jane looks at Daria in surprise.)_   
**Tiffany**: How did you know?   
**Daria**: Well, I just figured.   
**Tiffany**: Hmmm....it's a personal question, I don't know if I should....and asking such unpopular people is sooo hard...but.... Does he have a nice car?

**_11th. In the garden_**   
_(Ken is lying in the grass with a sandwich, reading a book and listening to his Walkman. The Fashion Club is behind him. Daria and Jane appear.)_   
**Ken**: Yo. _(takes off his headphones)_   
**Daria**: Hi, Ken.   
**Jane**: Hi.   
Ken: I've just had a history class. If I thought O'Neill was weird, Mr. DeMartino is a phenomenon. And what about Mrs. Feminist? The last school was strange, but this one is crazy.   
**Daria**: I told you it'd be just like home. Uhhh...haven't you noticed something strange? I mean...stranger than usual.   
**Ken**: Stranger?   
**Daria**: It doesn't matter; forget the question.   
**Ken**: Hey! I was searching for somebody to show me around this weekend. Can you go out tomorrow and show me the town?   
**Jane**: Sorry, but we can't. Trent and his band are playing then...but...you can come with us if you want.   
**Daria**: If you aren't afraid of alternative-suburb musicians.   
**Ken**: Are you kidding? I love that kind of people! Who's Trent, and what's the name of his band?   
**Jane**: My brother, and the band is called Mystik Spiral.   
**Ken**: I hate to repeat, but... are you kidding? I've heard those guys, and they're awesome. You mean you're Trent Lane's sister?   
**Daria**: So you'll come?   
**Ken**: Sure. I'll be there.   
**Jane**: Remember, happen what happen, you've come by yourself.   
_(Switches to Quinn, Sandi, Stacy and Tiffany, who have heard all.)_   
**Sandi**: Where would a cows-lover go if is not to an alternative concert?   
**Stacy**: I'm sure it's in an ugly and dirty place.   
**Quinn**: You can bet that people get drunk and vomit in the corners.   
**Tiffany**: Ugggghhh! I can't even imagine…   
**Quinn**: I would never go into a place like that.   
**Sandi**: I promise.   
**Stacy**: Nor me…   
**Tiffany**: Nooo way.

**_12th. At Daria's house, in the kitchen_**   
_(Jake is cooking something and singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" when Quinn appears.)_   
**Jake**: Hi kiddo! How was your day at school?   
**Quinn**: Dad, can I ask you something?   
**Jake**: Of course. Daddy's here to help you.   
**Quinn**: Do you think that love can change people?   
**Jake**: Sure, look at your mother. Why do you ask now that? Are you thinking of a change?   
**Quinn**: Of course not. Is only that a new boy has come to the school, and...well...he's cute, and all that...but he's like really unfashionable. So, I was thinking...what if I get a date with him? Maybe my popularity would decrease, but if I can make him change of style, it would increase much more than it decreased, and his would increase too, but if I want to get a date, I'd have to dress like really bad, and that's so not ethical. On the other hand, it's for like a good cause…not that I used to do things for bad reasons, but I've never to dress in ugly clothes and go to cheap and not fashion places before, for that. It'd be like I would risk my position in the Fashion Club, but...   
**Jake**: Hey! Don't worry, and do what you have to do.   
**Quinn**: Did you listen what I said?   
**Jake**: Hmmm.... I think I hear your mother calling me. _(turn off the stove and runs)_   
**Quinn**: Well, I won't lose anything if nobody knows.

_(Cut to commerical break. Stinger: Quinn and Daria talking)_

**_13th. At the Lanes' door_**   
_(Daria and Ken come in together. Daria rings the bell and Jane opens the door.)_   
**Jane**: Hi.   
**Ken**: Yo.   
**Daria**: Are we going yet?   
**Jane**: Trent said he would bring us in the Tank.   
**Ken**: The Tank?   
**Jane**: Yes, a van they carry some equipment in.   
**Ken**: Wow! I'm going with the band! That's great!   
**Jane**: Come in, I don't know if Trent is ready yet.   
**Daria**: You mean you don't even know if he's awake yet.   
_(A very loud guitar sound startles all of them)_   
**Jane**: Well, I think he's about to come down. TRENT! COME ON! DARIA AND KEN ARE HERE NOW! _(looks to Ken and Daria and launches a good-girl smile)_   
_(Trent appears on the stairs.)_   
**Trent**: Sorry about the noise, I was doing the last sound test on my guitar.   
**Ken**: It doesn't matter, guy...the show must go on.

**_14th. Inside The Tank_**   
_(Jane is driving, Daria is in the co-pilot, and Trent and Ken are talking in the back)_   
**Trent**: Do you play any instruments?   
**Ken**: Not really...I was horribly tortured learning "Oh Susanna!" on my harmonica in a summer camp when I was a child.   
_(Daria looks at him in surprise)_   
**Daria**: You too?   
**Ken**: Well, not really. While they weren't looking, I guessed the notes from "When the Levee Breaks". I played it quite well.   
**Trent**: Wow! That's not easy, man.   
**Ken**: Imagine the surpirse when all of our fathers went to see us and I played a harmonica solo.   
**Trent**: Hey! If you want, you could play it tonight.   
**Ken**: I think I probably shouldn't. I imagine that people would throw beer bottles instead of salads and vegetables.   
**Jane**: You can tell him, can't you, Trent?   
**Trent**: I prefer not to talk about _that_. It wasn't our fault.   
**Jane**: You were lucky that I was there to help you.   
**Trent**: Max was about having one of his "violent" moments.   
**Ken**: Does he have passing violence phases?   
**Jane**: Yeah. It's really violent seeing him cry.   
**Trent**: Hey Daria... I'm sure that you'll like the new song we're gonna sing tonight.   
_(Daria smiles a bit)_

**_15th. At a punk club_**   
_(The place is full of weird people. Some of them are obviously drunk)_   
**Ken**: _(screaming) _We want the band! We want the band! We want the band!   
**Daria**: Just wait. They're preparing and testing...   
_(Suddenly a very loud guitar noise, like the one at Jane's house, cuts Daria off)_   
**Daria**: ... if our ears are strong enough.   
_(Sandi enters the place. She is dressed in jeans and an expensive, untucked T-shirt, plus big, weird earrings. In another part of the club, Stacy is looking everywhere, while Tiffany, who was near the speakers, runs from them, and Quinn searches for something inside her glass. Of course, all them are dressed in most strange ways, but moreover, they don't know that their fellow members are also in the place.)_   
**Jane**: Look... What's she doing here? _(points to Sandi)_   
**Ken**: Who?   
**Daria**: And her? _(points to Stacy)_   
**Ken**: Again, who?   
_(The band walks onto the stage)_   
**Trent**: Hi, sorry about the noise, I was doing a final sound test on my guitar. Anyway, we're Mystik Spiral, but we're thinking in change the name. Hope you like the show.   
_(Ken is the only one screaming in the place. He animates to the band with the usual hymns. All the Fashion Club members locate him as he walks straight to the stage)_   
**Ken**: Yeeeeeeeeeahhhh!   
**Daria**: And what is SHE doing here? _(points to Quinn and her expression turns first to anger, but then, as she looks to Sandi and Stacy, she smiles)_   
**Jane**: Is this a Fashion Club meeting or something?   
**Daria**: Why?   
**Jane**: They're all together here. _(points to Tiffany)_   
**Daria**: We're lucky. We're about seeing the end of the Fashion Club. Just wait.   
**Trent**: _(On the stage) _This song is called "Brain Maze".   
You see m´face   
And build m´maze   
My eyes are closed   
My brain is exposed   
The maze is done   
And I am lost   
The hope´s gone   
And it is frost   
Control my fate   
Control my brain   
For m´therapy   
It is too late-ate-ate-ate   
_(While Ken jumps and follows the rhythm, Sandi reaches him. She tries to imitate him, but her lack of passion traduces in a lack of movement, so the show is pathetic – a snob trying to dance to alternative music. Stacy approaches from behind, not recognizing Sandi in her new clothes. When the music finishes, Ken, who doesn't realized that is being pursued, claps.)_   
**Ken**: Woooooowwwww! Another one!   
**Sandi**: Hello, don't you remember me?   
**Ken**: I've seen you somewhere.   
_(Somebody touches Ken's shoulder. When he turns, he sees Stacy, and the two members of the Club recognize one another.)_   
**Ken**: Can I help you?   
**Sandi**: What are you doing here? You said you wouldn't come to a place like this.   
**Stacy**: I don't like to be insubordinate, but you promised, too.   
**Ken**: Who are you two?   
_(Daria and Jane arrive with Quinn following them, knowing that they'll meet Ken.)_   
**Sandi**: I can do what I want, because I'm president of the Fashion Club.   
**Ken**: Hey! Now I remember you weird girls.   
**Daria**: Don't get lost...a civil war is about to start and you won't like to be in the middle.   
_(Quinn sees Sandi and Stacy and tries to run away, but Sandi discovers her)_   
**Sandi**: _(ironic) _Quinn! What a great surprise finding you in a place like this.   
**Quinn**: And what about you, Ms President?   
**Jane**: I would never imagine I would be at a meeting of this club.   
**Stacy**: And you are not. These liars said that they wouldn't come and...   
**Sandi**: And what about you, cutie?   
**Man's voice**: Hey chick, watch out!   
_(All look towards the man, and see that Tiffany has stumbled into him.)_   
**Tiffany**: S-s-s-s-s-s-sooo-o-o-o-o-rry.   
**Quinn**: So she's here, too...   
_(Daria, Jane and Ken leave the four girls and walk towards the stage)_   
**Trent**: Hey Janie! What's up? Are they gonna throw beer bottles at us again?   
**Daria**: Naw, but maybe a rimel pack and a lipstick.   
_(The Club is arguing noisily)_   
_**Sandi**: I can't believe that you all are here after you said you wouldn't come. That's like treason or whatever._   
_**Quinn**: San-di, what about you? You promised not to come._   
_**Sandi**: I'm the president and I can do whatever I want._   
_**Stacy**: But you promised, Sandi._   
_**Tiffany**: You all…lied._   
_(Trent and Daria and Jane the band look at the girls, while the bouncers head over to throw them out.)_   
_**Ken**: The show must go on! The show must go on!_   
_(When the Club is finally out, from the speakers comes a harmonica song that sounds vaguely like "When the Levee Breaks")_

**_16th. In the school's corridors._**   
_(The Fashion Club walks together dressed in their usual clothes.)_   
_**Sandi**: I don't even know why you thought I liked that cow-lover._   
_**Stacy**: Did you see how he was dressed?_   
_**Quinn**: What about his hair?_   
_**Tiffany**: And he like doesn't even have a car. That is soooo…wrong._   
_(Jane and Daria see them passing)_   
_**Jane**: Hey! Aren't they upset? At least a little?_   
_**Daria**: Who could possibly bear them then?_   
_(Ken arrives)_   
_**Ken**: Yo! Hey Jane, tell your brother I said hi and that the show was great._   
_**Daria**: Okay. It can't be that you haven't noticed anything stranger than usual._   
_**Ken**: Stranger?_   
_**Jane**: Yes, even stranger._   
_**Ken**: Are there new teachers?_   
_**Jane**: Impressive; unbelievable._   
_**Daria**: It's amazing._   
_**Ken**: You were right, Daria, it's like I'm at home._

_(The end song)_

**_[Back to Fanfic by Iván][2]_**

   [1]: mailto:darnaud@jazzartistas.com
   [2]: http://www.angelfire.com/ut/Daria/ivanfic.html



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